On Running

My favorite activity that I currently cannot do.

I love to run. It’s part of who I am. It’s perhaps the most important thing in life to me — without it, I cannot be happy. And this is clear to those that know me; one of my friends once said that running was my “personality.”

Running through streets and trails makes me feel in touch with the outdoors. I generally do not listen to music when I run; I enjoy disconnecting from electronics (save for my watch) and zoning out.

As much as I enjoy the activity itself, I like the feeling afterward even more — the “runner’s high.” For me, this is a relaxed state lasting for a few hours, which I have not been able to reproduce with anything else. Before a run, I may feel anxious or depressed; after, I will feel calm and euphoric.

Unfortunately, I cannot run currently; I hurt my calves a few months ago while training for a marathon. I’m in physical therapy now, but the process is slow and frustrating; I have seen little progress and can only get an appointment every couple of weeks.

This is not the first time I’ve overtrained and hurt myself. I suffered a similar injury in 2019 when running too much without proper recovery. During this time, I would run even though my calves would spasm with pain. I am, you could say, addicted to running — I will do it even if it hurts. Although I stay in shape through cycling, I do not enjoy it as much as running; I will always be a runner, no matter how much time I spend on the bike. Because of this, I am impatiently waiting for the day I can run again.

To you, I suggest finding your own running; that is, an activity you enjoy so much that you could not picture life without it. This could be playing piano, writing, or hiking — whatever it is, it cannot involve a mobile screen. Life is made meaningful in the real world, not the virtual one; spending hours scrolling through a feed will always lead to a feeling of emptiness. This is the real reason I run: to fill my soul like nothing else can.